The Haze

Whenever I return from sharing the gospel in another context, there is always a hazy time period that follows. Of course there is a haze due to jet lag and/or lack of sleep but there is also a haze due to a war within me; a battle to decide how the time spent there will affect me and how the Lord wants to continue to affect a lost and dying world through me.

I begin running through a list of questions including, how did the time our team spent affect the people we worked with? Was the gospel clear? Was the gospel shared at every point possible and was it lived out alongside the words we spoke?

Then I shift to how my life should look going forward. How do I live in this American world where I find myself craving things instead of God and fighting to re-establish focus? Why does it seem different sharing the gospel at work than it does sharing the gospel with children and adults who do not even share my language? Where can I be most effective for the kingdom? The context I live in now? Another context? The house I live in now? Another house?

I wonder about my brothers and sisters that I left behind when I returned home. Were they encouraged by our partnership? How will they maintain what was built? How do I need to be praying for them going forward? What about the kids and adults who heard the gospel for the first time? Did they get it?

Such a haze of questions...but God is control of all of them.